review: satisfyer pro 2 vibration pressure wave stimulator

review: satisfyer pro 2 vibration pressure wave stimulator

dear reader, strangely enough, the more reviews i write, the more i feel like such an utter newbie. there is a whole world of toys i’ve never tried, even some of the classics sex toys! i’m glad i get to take you on my journey, though, because we all must learn sometime, right? and i might as well share my experiences along the way.

introducing… the satisfyer pro 2 vibration pressure wave rechargeable waterproof stimulator!

(WHEW, that’s a long name for a toy.) thanks to the fine folx at shevibe for letting me test drive this baby.

photo of the satisfyer pro 2 on a fuzzy grey blanket

the specs

the satisfyer pro 2 is certainly an elegant toy. the handle part of the toy is ergonomically pleasing with its curved shape; it fits quite nicely in the hand. the toy has a beautiful matte rose gold finish with a body-safe, silicone head. it has three easily-accessible buttons; one controls the 11 different “pressure-wave intensity settings,” according to the description on shevibe. then two others control the outer ring, which will vibrate your clit in 10 delicious ways.

the toy comes with a USB charger that attaches in the front using magnets. if you don’t have one of those fancy wall outlets that allow you to plug right in or if you don’t have an AC adapter for it, you can buy one along with your toy. i’ve found that you have to position the toy in a particular way in order to keep the magnets in place and fully charge the toy. so keep an eye out for that! the satisfyer pro 2 does keep a charge pretty well.

did i mention it’s a waterproof toy!? if you enjoy playing in the shower or tub, you might like to take the satisfyer with you for dirty fun.

speaking of getting clean, you can use a gentle soap and some water to wipe the toy off. make sure to wipe down the inside of the head. you can also use a sex toy wipe such as afterglow cleansing tissues.

yes please! (with a caveat)

i really love the orgasms i have with this toy! they almost bring tears to my eyes, since the combination of suction, pressure, and rumbling feels pretty close to the leg-shaking intensity of good oral sex. if you’re someone who enjoys more diffuse, less direct contact with your clit, this toy might not be for you. but i find the pinpoint attention to my clit so delicious!

the caveat is that i can only get off with this toy if my clitoris and the area around it is dry. using this toy with lube seems impossible, since i can’t find the sweet spot where the head sort of grabs at my clit. everything just… slides around and while it’s vibration is nice, it might not be enough to catapult me into ecstasy. one trick i’ve discovered? take a shower and dry off thoroughly, then whip this toy out.

toys with suction aren’t everyone’s fave. i became frustrated for a while with the toy since i couldn’t place it the way i needed. but i really recommend the shower trick! this is a good toy for partner play AND it feels REALLY nice on your nipples, too.

the handle part of the toy, with its button placement, really is ergonomic, easy to hold, and easy to control. it’s just the right shape for my hand and i don’t feel like i’ll easily drop it.

closeup photo of the satisfyer 2 on a grey fuzzy blanket

the satisfyer 2 pro regularly retails for $69.99 USD, but you can grab one for yourself for only $59.95 on shevibe as of 1/1/20. throw in another small item, like those and get free shipping on orders over $68. you can’t beat shevibe’s prices.

make a resolution to have more fun in the bedroom this year and prioritize pleasure!

thank you again to shevibe, who so graciously sent me a toy in exchange for my honest review. just a heads up: i’ve used affiliate links throughout this review. so if you feel so inclined, you can support my work, shevibe, AND get yourself an amazing toy.

weekly link-love: cleaning out the bookmarks edition

weekly link-love: cleaning out the bookmarks edition

from hotemoji.com

hello readers! it’s been a couple of weeks since i’ve done a link-love, but i’m finally back and this time i’m doing a cleaning-out-my-bookmarks session. here are a bunch of links i loved from the last couple of months.

toys and fun things to buy for yourself:

review: liberator wedge – get down on it – i was curious what other wedge owner’s thought about this lovely piece and, lo and behold, this link popped into my twitter feed. i highly recommend purchasing a liberator wedge in any case, since it can really give you a really nice boost you need, but i would say it’s a must in your collection if you have back or knee issues like me. read this review and go get yourself one!

review: the mysteryvibe crescendo – one of my favorite people wrote this great review. i’m happy to have helped as Productivity Domme. *giggle*

sexy misc:

the 5 best sex positions to send her to g-spot heaven – i’m not usually a fan of these lists, but this one actually has a couple of interesting positions i want to try. the butterfly, in particular, looks good to me if  Daddy and i can make it work. it might be good for me when i’m having a flare up OR keeping things going when we need a break from the reaaaallly hard thrusting and grinding. 😉 i will report back!

50 shades of purple: stunning paintings of roller derby butts and their bruises! – i love bruises so much! i don’t know why. but these paintings are gorgeous and so are those bruises, some of which look like planets and nebulas. love it!

relationships, communication, etc.

making an ass out of u and me – i love this piece from april 2018 about long-term relationships, negotiation, and communication. even though this is about negotiating scenes/play ahead of time, i think there’s a lot here for partners even outside the bedroom. “use your words” is my current mantra.

being owned – i love the way eye describes her emotional baggage: “In my winters I am bare and raw, so raw I fear I will be frosted to the bone and yet, spring greening always comes again, well, so far it has.” this is an all-too-brief, but beautiful bit of writing about the cognitive dissonance of feminism and D/s dynamics, a topic i’d like to explore more myself.

wanking in a relationship – i’ve thought a lot about this. i’ve had partners with varying degrees of weirdness about masturbation in relationships – whether it’s been their own reluctance to masturbate in front of me or their own issues with either of us masturbating on our own and what they think that says about the state of our union. this article from the author’s archives made me think in a more empathetic way about why we might have these less-than-ideal notions about the topic.

sex work

your mother is a whore – i’ve never read tits and sass, “service journalism by and for sex workers,” but what a great site it is! this piece is about sex workers talking to their children about the work they do and about sex more generally. fascinating.

‘not a workplace:’ julie bindel and the school of wrong abolitionism – there’s so much to unpack from this article and i need to give it another read, but i recommend.

enjoy, dear readers! 💗